Having kids can be fun and exciting, but one study showed that the impact on marriages can actually be rather bleak. Kids often make people feel less happy with their relationships, and this unhappiness can lead to divorce.
Ironically, many couples who are drifting apart think that a child may help mend the relationship and bring them closer, though the opposite can actually be true. A few reasons why children can take the spark from a marriage include:
- Couples start to feel like business partners. They don't have a conversation because they're so in love and they like talking; they have it because they need to realistically plan out their day and make decisions for the child.
- Each parent has a new relationship with the child. Forging it can take away from relationships that already exist, including one with a spouse.
- Kids take a lot of time and energy. Parents often feel like they don't have time for each other when trying to balance work, kids and everything else.
- Couples must focus on mundane life details. Instead of taking a spontaneous road trip to see a national park, they're trying to decide who has to give the child a bath or run to the grocery store.
- Communication suffers. Couples stop talking about each other -- even simply asking if the other person had a good day -- because they just talk about the kids.
- The end result of all of this is that people who were once close grow distant. Eventually they may start wondering why they're married.
As you can see, much of the reasoning here is that kids take away from the fun, exciting stages of a young relationship. Parents must work together and they can lose that spark they had when they were dating.
Getting divorced with kids can be quite complicated. Be sure you know all of your legal rights as a parent.
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