Co-parenting for divorced parents doesn't end when children become adults. Your time with your kids is no longer governed by a parenting plan or custody agreement. However, many divorced couples still find themselves competing for time with their kids and for involvement in their lives.

Adult children of divorce are free to choose how much time they spend with each parent. That's why it's important to make the time that you're with your grown kids, whether it's on the phone or in person, enjoyable for them.

Remember that all kids grow apart from their parents. The fact that they may not want to be with you as much as you'd like doesn't mean that they'd rather be with their other parent. They're probably just living their lives.

Don't Ask Your Adult Children to Take Sides

Much of the same advice that you likely received as a newly-divorced person with young kids applies no matter how old your children are now. For example, don't denigrate their other parent to them or ask them to take sides. If your ex isn't paying your spousal support on time, that's not something to burden your kids with.

Further, just because they're older and may understand your relationship problems with your ex a bit better, that's no reason to burden them with the details. They're still your children and not your best friend or therapist. How much are they really going to want to spend time with you if all you do is complain about their other parent? You should still want them to love and respect both of you.

Having Both Parents There for the Milestones Is Still Important

Just as when your children were young, it's important for both of you to be there for your children's important events. As they get older, this includes graduations, weddings and milestones for your grandchildren. They shouldn't have to worry that if both of their parents are attending an event, arguments or stony silence will ensue. That's a surefire way to get yourself left out.

Sometimes, old wounds never seem to heal. Even if you think they have, seeing your ex again, particularly with a new spouse or significant other, can reopen them. Just as when your kids were little, make an effort to put their feelings and best interests ahead of your own emotions.

If you are having ongoing issues with your spouse regarding spousal support or any expenses that he or she agreed to cover regarding your children's education and other financial needs after they turned 18, seek assistance from your divorce attorney.

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