Can't take down pornographic site

Over the past 15 years, divorce attorneys and therapists have increasingly noted and discussed the role of online pornography in the dissolution of marriages. In fact, according to some research, over half of all divorces involve one spouse's excessive interest in or addiction to porn.

The vast majority of adults have viewed some sort of pornographic material. In fact, some marriage counselors recommend it to couples who are experiencing intimacy issues. However, when one spouse's interest in porn becomes obsessive, it can destroy a relationship.

Constructive Desertion

Pornography is often to blame when "constructive desertion" is listed as the grounds for divorce. That term, at least in this case, refers to a spouse's refusal to have sex with his or her partner.

As one clinical psychologist notes, that's because constant exposure to pornography can cause people to have unrealistic expectations of sex that their spouse can't fulfill. They may not want to deal with having to think about fulfilling someone else's needs or sharing control of the experience, so they simply stop having sex with their spouse. That lack of intimacy can seriously and sometimes permanently impact the entire relationship.

Handling the Issue of Pornography as a Couple

Vilifying or shaming a spouse for viewing pornography, whether that use is occasional or has become a problem doesn't help the situation. Marriage experts recommend that spouses discuss their use of pornography honestly and work to create limits and boundaries to help keep it from damaging the marriage.

If pornography is at the heart of what has damaged your marriage beyond repair and you are considering divorce or have already made the decision, it's essential to seek guidance from a divorce attorney as soon as possible. An attorney can tell you whether you can use constructive desertion or a similar reason as legal grounds for divorce.

Some people prefer not to list any grounds in a divorce, even if the law allows it, in order to protect their family's privacy. However, your attorney will provide advice, based on your specific situation and your state laws, so that you can work toward the best resolution for yourself and your children moving forward.

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