Tell-Take Signs of Divorce

Even though divorce is much more common today than in was for past generations, many couples still go into marriage with the mindset that it is not an option. That may seem like a positive way to approach your new life. However, one therapist says that "it can create some unhealthy dynamics."

It's Impossible to Predict the Future

None of us can know just who we'll be in ten years, let alone many decades down the line. That's particularly true of couples who marry when they're young. It's great if spouses can grow and change together -- and many do. However, that's just not always the case. Sometimes, the relationship becomes untenable for one or both people.

No one wants to go into a marriage thinking that they may one day divorce. That's why so many couples still refuse to consider getting a prenuptial agreement. However, as a therapist points out, accepting that you can get out if you need to is actually freeing. She says, "Someone who has to stay in anything -- be it a job or a marriage -- that doesn't usually bring out the best in us. We tend to do best as people when we feel like we have a choice."

Bumps in the Road vs. Ongoing Unhappiness

Of course, this doesn't mean that married couples shouldn't take their commitment to one another seriously. Every married people occasionally feels angry, bored, frustrated or unfulfilled in their relationships. After many years, couples may no longer have the passion they once had. However, they still love one another and want to work to make the marriage stronger.

However, if you are truly unhappy in the marriage, if the two of you no longer want the same things or if the trust you once had in your spouse is no longer there, the therapist asserts, you shouldn't feel obligated to stay. She says that the concept of marriage is still built on a "shame-based model" -- you chose to get married, and now you're obligated to stay together forever.

If both partners going into a marriage acknowledge that divorce, while certainly nothing they anticipate, is not an impossibility, it can be easier to sit down and work out a prenuptial agreement. A prenup is an insurance policy of sorts. No one anticipates that their house will burn to the ground or be destroyed in an earthquake. However, we have insurance to protect us should that happen.