In a recent article on the Brides.com website, five women shared their stories of what happened when they refused (at least initially) to get a prenuptial agreement when their fiance asked for one. The reasons why their future husbands wanted one were sound. However, they reacted in the way that many people (men and women) do when asked for a prenup: Don't you trust me?
Prenups aren't about trust. They're insurance. You don't expect your home to catch fire, and it would be emotionally devastating if it did. However, don't you get insurance so that you're not financially devastated as well.
Why Dialogue Is Crucial
In all of these cases, the request led to a discussion between the couple where they both expressed their points of view. The majority of couples ended up with a prenup. However, this shows that if you are the one seeking a prenup, how you broach the subject and explain your reasoning is crucial. In one case, the groom had a property that had been in his family for generations. In another, the husband-to-be had seen his parents go through a messy divorce.
Sometimes, if the person asking for the prenup doesn't pressure and lets the subject go for awhile, his or her future spouse will feel less coerced and agree to it. Certainly, however, if you have assets you want to protect for yourself or others, that doesn't mean that you should give in and not have a prenup in place when you wed.
Good Prenups Protect Both People
A well-drafted prenup protects both partners. Even if one has more money or a larger income going into a marriage, things can change significantly over the course of a marriage.
It's always best if both people have their own attorneys when drafting a prenup. If your fiance's attorney draws up the document, you should at least have your own attorney review it to ensure that your interests are protected.
A prenup should provide insurance to both partners. If you broach the subject in that way, it may be easier to persuade your intended to agree to one. Your family law attorney can provide advice on how to discuss this often-tricky subject with your partner.
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