It began innocently enough, a frazzled boyfriend scurrying around his small kitchen trying to cook a dish that would win the heart of the girl he admired.  The flowers were in the vase, candles lit, and dinner in the oven.  Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, she wasn’t suppose to be there for another 20 minutes, there’s a tomato stain on his shirt, flour on his pants and he’s still in socks.  Sheepishly he goes to open the door, except it’s not the girl he desires; it’s a man… a diaper.  Cupid reaches into his quiver, pulls out an arrow and proceeds to shoot the boyfriend through the heart. Suddenly, police officers rush Cupid, put him in handcuffs and haul him to the station.

Felony Battery

In most states, battery is defined as the illegal touching of another person that results in a physical injury.  The fact Cupid used a deadly weapon to pierce the man’s heart only adds to the charge, bumping it from a simple battery to a felony battery.  While looking through his priors, the District Attorney can barely keep track of Cupid’s record.  Cupid’s facing some serious time.