You’ve got your green on, plans to meet up with friends to drink green beer, and ate corned beef for breakfast.  What could possibly go wrong?  Shockingly enough, St. Patrick’s day has its shares of horror stories, from parades that went poorly, to drunken bar brawls, let's examine a few true stories:

When Kiss Me I’m Irish Turns Into Battery

Plenty of people show up to work, bars, or just walk around with a “kiss me I’m Irish” t-shirts today.  One woman, Kristin, recently relayed her story of last years St. Patrick’s Day parade.  She had gone to the parade area almost every year, ready to take pictures and blog about the events.  Of course, she dressed in her St. Patrick’s day finest, a green hat, her kiss me t-shirt, and even green pants.  She arrived early to make sure she had a good spot in the crowd, as the parade started, music blared, a rather intoxicated man kissed her on the cheek.  Thinking little of it, she continued to snap pictures.  As the parade wore on, and presumably the man continued to increase his BAC, he tried to kiss her again.  This time, Kristin responded by pushing him away.  The man, taking this as a personal offense began to yell at Kristin for not “being what she advertised” (referring to her shirt).  She tried to move down the parade line, but it was too crowded to move away from the man.  Suddenly, she felt a hand on her back, assuming it was the same drunken man, and tired of dealing with him, she swung her camera toward the person next to her.  Unfortunately for her, it was a rather large police officer.  A broken camera, a broken officer’s nose, and a shiny new bracelet on her hands, Kristin sat in the back of a police car wishing she had been just a bit more patient. 

Even If They Say The Food Is “Authentic” It Should Not Contain Any Glass

Almost any place that claims to be Irish, especially an Irish Bar, tends to serve “authentic Irish cuisine.”  Usually this consists of Shepherd’s Pie, Guinness braised short ribs, cabbage and corned beef.  However, one man, Tommy, got a little extra surprise in his Shepherd’s Pie. Sitting down for an authentic meal with his friends, he ordered the special of the day, a portion of Shepherd’s pie, cabbage and some corned beef with a pint of Guinness.  Famished from the long day at work Tommy dived into his food without examining it.  After a few bites, he though the pie was unusually crunchy.  Soon he felt his mouth fill with blood and looked down to see tiny shards of glass and what he thought was part of a beer label.  Alarmed, he quickly called over the manager of the bar.  The manager, after quickly surveying the situation, asked the man why he continued to eat the food if he knew there was something wrong with it (was he trying to increase his damages?).  Tommy, only able to mumble at this point, pointed to the small label embedded in the meat and managed to threaten a lawsuit.  At the end of the day, a new cook, whose English was lacking,  thought he was suppose to literally add a bottle of beer to the meat mixture.  Needless to say, Tommy prevailed in a lawsuit for the damages he suffered, but did not receive payments for “pain and suffering” despite his protests that St. Patrick’s Day would forever be ruined for him.