“If you have a teenager in your household who does have a cell phone and does engage in texting (this is probably redundant), it is recommended to talk with your teen and make sure that the images and photos that come to and from his or her cell are within legal boundaries. Being busted for child pornography, when a person is a minor themselves, is not something to be taken lightly.”

OK, I’m a mom, and I have two daughters, one 10, the other 15. How do I define what is illegal to my 16-year-old daughter? Do I define pornography? Child pornography? Do I try to distinguish erotica from pornography?

Well, I’m not doing any of that, and despite that I think my daughters are going to be fine, and not get into this sort of trouble.

I think it’s important to deal with the language that’s being made to fit here, and how it really doesn’t fit. I don’t think any of the kids who have taken nude pictures of themselves for a friend (or two) have thought of what they were doing as “pornography” as I understand it, which has to have some sort of commercial aspect to it. I don’t think they were doing it as a ‘joke’ either, I think it was like a love letter in picture form. Erotica, in other words.

What I am doing is saying that if she wants to send a boyfriend a slightly racy, funny picture of herself, it’s ok with me, and she doesn’t need to show it to me but I’d hope that she could describe it to me and she’s done so, I think, to both of our satisfaction. Whatever the law is, I think that’s more important, as what I hope she’ll end up doing is something that she and I and other (hopefully) reasonable people will be able to defend if challenged. I’ve also said that she needs to understand that whatever she gets on a picture (or piece of paper, if it’s a literal love letter) could be shared with friends, and even I might see it someday. So she needs to understand that what she does needs to be something that she won’t feel humiliated or threatened if it gets shared around, but maybe a little embarrassed, that would be ok.

Love letters can be like that, you know, embarrassing to see…and read…out of content. That sort of embarrassment is normal and inevitable, while the humiliation that society and the legal system has imposed on increasing numbers of young women who send their boyfriend a “racy” photo is not.