By:  LINDSEY O’NEILL, ESQ. 

Happy Mother’s Day to each and every mother out there – biological mothers, adoptive mothers, step-mothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, and mothers-at-heart!! You do an amazing job!!

Since this is a legal blog, I starting thinking about what exactly the legal relationship is between you and your mother-in-law. What does “in-law” really mean? For far too many of us… it means problems, difficult relationships, stress, and family issues. Aside from whether your relationship with your in-laws is positive or, let’s say, challenging…. you do are legally related to your in-laws. Marriage is a lot of things, but it is also a legal institution. One example is the intestacy laws (the laws setting forth inheritance when no estate plan is in place), which includes in-laws in the “tree” of who inherits what and when.

Beyond the legal aspects, though, the in-law relationship has the potential to be a rich and rewarding one. A healthy relationship with your mother-in-law can help strengthen your marriage, can add to the emotional growth of your children, and can turn out to be one of the true blessings in your own life. Your mother-in-law needs to understand that once you marry, you and your spouse become each other’s primary relationship. This can be difficult for many parents to accept, but it is necessary. Reminding your mother-in-law, respectfully, of your desire and intention to have a strong and loving relationship with your spouse and to create that same strength within your own family, just the way she did with hers, may be a good way to set appropriate boundaries with a well-meaning, but perhaps over-involved mother-in-law. Once you get there, include her in the family events – it is her family too, remember! Make it a point to grow a healthy and respectful relationship with your mother-in-law. You might be surprised…. by reaching out it just might inspire a whole new possibility between the two of you!

So, for those of you with great relationships with your mothers-in-law, and for those of you with more growing to do, take this opportunity to wish your mother-in-law a very happy Mother’s Day. I know I did!!