By: LINDSEY O’NEILL, ESQ
If a husband has an affair with another woman, should the wife be able to sue the other woman for emotional damages? What if the couple isn’t married….. should the girlfriend of a cheating boyfriend be able to sue the other woman for the adultery? Or vice versa – should a man be able to bring a lawsuit against an affair-partner? Should any injured partner in a relationship be able to sue the pants off someone who snuggled up to their honey? (Well, technically, their pants were already off, but anyhow…..) Now, my question here is limited specifically to the situation in which the couple appears to be happy – he tells his girlfriend how much he loves her, they have all kind of fun with their friends, everything appears to be great…… but he’s secretly having an affair, intentionally lying to his girlfriend…. and the other woman agrees to carry on the affair under wraps.
Put it this way, the betrayed party has many choices for dealing with their partner when an infidelity is discovered - divorce, break up, stay together, throw things at him…. you know. The point is, there is some level of accountability for the betrayer – he loses his wife or girlfriend, may have to pay spousal support in divorce, will likely bear the wrath of family and friends, etc. Even if a he begs her for forgiveness and gets lucky enough to get a second chance, he’ll have to go through the arduous process of earning back her trust, which usually includes a loss of certain freedoms previously enjoyed, etc. What about the affair-partner? There is that age-old argument…. “Well, its not HER fault…. the husband is the one who chose to break his marriage vows…. the affair-partner didn’t make any vows to the wife, why should SHE be held responsible.” Well, why shouldn’t she bear some responsibility? She’s equally at fault! SO WHAT if she didn’t make any commitments to the wife or girlfriend. Does that make it right for her to go after someone else’s husband or boyfriend? Does that make it right that she should participate in the lie, the deceit, the fraud? Does that make it OK to intentionally harm and cause emotional injury to the innocent wife or girlfriend? Even if the doggish man pursued her…. she still knowingly entered into the affair.
Here’s the thing – we’ve decided as a society that certain behaviors are not OK. As a result, we’ve decided that there are certain standards by which people are obligated to act. We expect people to act according to “that degree of care that an ordinarily prudent person can be reasonably expected to exercise under similar circumstance.” If someone acts “unreasonably” in those situations, then they can be sued for the harm caused to a third person as a result. For instance:
If you are injured by a driver who failed to exercise reasonable care when driving on the freeway, you can sue them because all drivers have a duty to act reasonably to prevent harm to other drivers. Doctors are supposed to perform their duties as any other reasonable doctor would in a similar situation, or else face liability for medical malpractice. Store owners must put up a sign when a floor is wet, because society considers that to be the reasonable way to act to prevent someone from slipping and falling. Homeowners must warn guests in their home of any sort of danger that may be posed by an ongoing remodeling job of the kitchen. If someone punches you, you can sue them for injuries for intentionally hurting you! You can even sue someone for intentionally harming you emotionally and psychologically. If someone tells a bunch of lies about you, you can sue them for defamation and damaging your reputation. You can sue the manufacture of a toy for failing to adhere to certain standards to make the toy safe to play with. You can even sue someone for interfering with a potential business relationship - for convincing someone to breach a contract with someone else. ….. but you can’t sue an affair-partner for interfering with the most important relationship of your life? Or for helping them to break their commitments or vows to their wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend? Isn’t it reasonable to expect that other people won’t have a secret affair with your spouse?
Now, alright, I know I’m simply discussing general legal principles here and applying them to the circumstance of the “other woman” or “other man.” But…. it just seems right to me that people should be held accountable for the harm they cause to others – especially harm to the things most of us consider to be the most valuable, fundamental relationships in our lives. So sound off people…. What do you think? Should we hold those good-for-nothing, deceitful, behind-the-back, home wrecking, boyfriend-stealing, girlfriend-wielding, petty, pantiless, pathetic people responsible?? Or should they get off Scot-free? All we’d be doing is holding them accountable, along with the cheater, for failing to act the way we expect anybody else to act, the way we expect any ordinary person, any reasonable person, to act. And, hey, if the affair-partner were required to pay damages to the innocent spouse for the injuries she caused, then perhpas there would be a deterrent effect and less cheating would result all around. Just a thought….
Let me know what you think! Looking forward to your comments …. Just scrowl down and have YOUR say!
Should you be able to sue the affair partner?
Lindsey O'Neill is the Director of Legal Content and Strategic Development at LawInfo.com. Ms. O'Neill is a California licensed attorney based in La Jolla and experienced in a wide variety of legal and business matters.
Ummmm . . . in North Carolina you CAN do this. We actually have two causes of action: alienation of affection and criminal conversation.
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It’s a pretty good point. Personally I wouldn’t sue if I was cheated on unless circumstances like these were present and then I would consider it:
It impacted me financially-business relationship
It impacted me physically-STD, etc.
But being lied to, fooled, or betrayed…I guess I hold my self responsible in that case. Not that I did anything wrong, but clearly something is missing for me that I chose to be with and failed to recognize (or address) issues of integrity and intimacy.
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Sounds utterly facist…the law has no buisness interfering w/ people’s love lives. If you want that kind of drama watch divorce court.
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While I am not in favor of more suing for the sake of the “sue-happys” looking for another way to extort money or hand-outs…I feel this digs way too deep into affecting the primary relationship in our lives.
Absolutely… both parties should be held accountable for their actions and wrong-doings! Either the other woman or the other man should be held accountable for the emotional, mental, physical, and/ or financial damages that they inflict upon not only the wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend but upon the family as well. The affair does not only leave its sludge and taint the relationship between the wife and husband/ girlfriend and boyfriend but it bitters all those involved with the couple…family and friends on some level….so they should at least be held accountable to the ones directly affected. Go get them!
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Well, since I am a victim of betrayal, I say yes because I AM injured and for 4 years this “other person” knew exactly what they were doing. Now everyone will think how could she not see the signs but strangely enough my husbands way of cheating was not the norm, at least not to me. There was no perfume, nights away unexplained, he would leave the house as early as 6am on a Saturday saying that he was going hiking and return back back around 11am to 12 noon. Now he is a hiker and it wasn’t every Sat. but the only thing that could have tipped me off was the phone no. on his cell, which he explained that “Mac” was a contractor and of course the phone calls were at the oddest times. Not like others whose calls were late at night and of course she never called the home ph. no. She left a text message though, on Christmas eve with some corny little message like “even though we are apart…you are always in my heart.” That’s how I found out and I NEVER check his phone but it was blinking and I thought the battery was low so I went to plug it in and voila! The rest is history. Christmas will never be the same.
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I just did something similar to a girl Jenny who tried to help me-i am getting back at my ex and it feels good
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Well here in Texas I don’t believe that anyone wants to go after our wifes or husbands lover. We believe its our wifes and husbands fault, they are the sinners. In Texas they do pay, for adultery they loose almost everything. Custody of children, house, vehicles and cash. Just notify your divorce judge and show them a video where the sin is being committed and walla your husband or wife is finished. But on the lover I guess you can always sue for harassment
and emotional distress caused by this pursuing harrassment.
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you’ve got to be kidding. I take it the author had a terrible experience herself. It will never hold up in court. On top of that, you’ll be potentially liable for atty fees and costs for filing the frivolous suit. Who said the “other person” even knew your spouse was married. How are you going to prove that? You can’t tape record a phone conversation…federal offense and a state one in most states. Nope, your only recourse is to dump the jerk and get a good div. attorney. Chances are the spouse will come running home unless you had a crappy marriage to begin with which brings us back to the main defense..which will be.. “you never paid attention to me.” How are you going to prove or disprove that? Nope…the courts need to stay well clear of this mess. Leave people’s private lives and their marriages alone unless seeking a divorce. The courts’ dockets are already backlogged with serious civil and criminal cases, we don’t need to pile this crap upon them as well.
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tracy Reply:
August 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Hmm what if the other woman admits it in writing and there are young children involved? My ex had an affair, and now she is shocked he cheated on her ( with me, I look at it as revenge on her). anyway she knew he was married with young children, so why shouldn’t I be allowed to getg what I can??? she got money and time that was mine and my childrens
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wife and mother Reply:
September 16th, 2009 at 10:54 am
I think if the “other” person knowingly enters an affair and benefits from it, they should be held accountable. In my case, the one of many “others” had gone on many trips and gained from my husband spending money on her. One time they went away and she pretended to be me and used my name! Now my husband claims no money and I am having a hard time getting him to pay the child support he is required to. I believe the “other” should pay monetarily for the money she took away from our family…..hotel rooms, plane tickets, dinner, etc.
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they should be drained dry and hung out to dry they should go to jail or at least be beat till they think they are going to die or wished that they would die. choke them, beat them, let them know you have been there.
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charlene Reply:
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am
thank you!!!!!!
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In California, we’re a “no fault” state…anything goes here. It’s horrible. There’s no sanctity for the marriage vow. It’s too easy to get married, too easy to get out. What’s the point? I believe in God, I believe in my vow. My husband and his girlfriend have chosen to turn their back on both, justifying their actions through that glorious catch-all: we were “just friends”…of course they were! That’s how MOST affairs begin! “Just friends” who send out feelers and cross a forbidden line, feeling deliciously exciting and leaving untold destruction in their wake. His girlfriend has dumped a surgeon husband and is ruining the lives of two young daughters, just for the sake of her selfish mid-life identity confusion. My husband is experiencing his own mid-life family-of-origin issue, and this was his way to avoid the pain…drown it in the euphoria of an affair. Seventeen years of a mostly good life with my best friend…down the drain. My entire adult life of memories, entwined with this man, and he acts like we never even happened. I’m better looking, smarter, kinder, funnier, and definitely less controlling than this woman…he’s not in it to trade up. He’s running from himself, and she was encouraging him wholeheartedly. He needs professional help; our therapist says so. She is a mixed-up woman, and she just thinks ours is a marriage problem. It isn’t. She is egging him on to get out of the marriage, and he’s too foggy to even see her manipulation. In a year or so, he’s going to come out of the fog and realize he’s decimated his nest egg, decimated his sweet little life, and wonder what the hell he’s done. If she were not in the way, he could heal SO much faster (with or without ME in his life.)
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How about this. What if you found out your wife was having an affair? What if you had reason to believe that one or both of your children may not be yours? What if I told you in Massachusetts, the caselaw holds up and the judge will not allow for paternity testing? What if you had to agree to pay alimony in lieu of child support for six years at the same rate you would have paid child support, reviewed annually to get the paternity test complete? What if you found out the two children were proven NOT to be your children, and that there was a 99.9% chance that they have DIFFERENT fathers? And what if I told you that I may not be able to get out of that rediculous agreement, while she is still in a relationship with the father of the second child? What if I told you I was MARRIED to this woman for 12 Years?!?
What if I told you she was having affairs with TWO men at the same time over the last two years of this marrige (term marrige used loosely).
What if I told you it was all TRUE!
So, in closing, I have been mislead, humilated and had, by a woman who was having one affair on and off for 7+ years, and another for the last 2, and was led to believe that these children were mine. Have paid to raise 3 other peoples children, have had to pay child support over the last 5 months for two children that aren’t mine. And now, she will most likely be living with the father of the second child, while I am paying this rediculous human being for six years……..WOW! You don’t think I should attempt to sue not only my soon to be ex-wife, but the other two unscrupulous individuals as well? I would submit to you that is well justified & should be allowed. Thanks Massachusetts! Lets let not hold the people responsible for this rediculous set of circumstances accountable, no we’d rather continue to pennalize the innocent and by the way FAITHFUL person who has to deal with this BS for the rest of his days on this planet.
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is this true in texas if i have damaging evidence of the affair can i take all. even when my house is payed for and both are names are on it,i can prove my father payed for every penny.can i get her name off the deed for the affair.she never signed in documents.im ready to hang it in her ass for what she did im just curious if this is possible
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My husband had an affair with a woman who knew that we were married. I asked my husband to stop the affair and the other woman as well. The affair was over rather quickly but it resulted in the birth of a child. I decided to seperate from my husband and we eventually reconciled. I don’t blame the baby because he is innocent. In fact, I treat him as one of my own during visitation. However, the “other woman” has continued to disrupt my childrens life and my own. My husband and “the other woman” are both at fault. My husband was wrong and he has done everything possible to put our marriage back together and help our children heal. The “other woman” continues to disrupt our life. My children and I are innocent and we should not have to continue suffering and being harrassed by her. I want to sue her because it has taken a toll on me and my children. I had an emotional break down and can’t function on a normal level. I don’t want to sue “the other woman” for money, she has none. However, I want her to be accountable for her actions as my husband was. She need’s to be accountable for her continued harrassment. Simply bringing her into court and being able to tell her how she has shattered innocent lives would be enough. I hope to find an attorney who will help me and my children.
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I have a story that should be on television. (Lifetime). I wish I could write a book as I do believe it will be a best seller.
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Absolutely should. so it won’t be so easy to just turn lives upside down and cause innocent people grief and sorrow for a long time if not a lifetime. If there are potential penalties, people would think before they acted on a whim !!
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Gimme a break! How many wives see to it that their husbands needs are being met? Are they keeping up their end of the marriage contract, or just collecting a paycheck and the bennies of marriage and letting some other poor fool do all the work for free? How can you not know that your spouse is cheating on some level. Quit being the victim of your own neglectful behavior.
Men don’t wander if they have a good reason to stay.
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charlene Reply:
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 am
then maybe they should be a real man and leave her instead of cheating like a scumbag. The problem is there not men enough to leave, because when the other woman decides she dosent want him anymore he wants to be able to run back to the woman who takes care of him in the firtst place. If you dont have a good reason to stay get out of there and let some other woman do your laundry and cool your dinner. You truley sound like an idiot.
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Janie Reply:
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
You need to read some statistics on affairs. Believe me, a husband can have an affair on their LUNCH HOURS while the betrayed is at work in an adjoining city. None of the friends/co-workers of the other woman are going to tell the wife. I never ever thought my honest, very nice , very moral husband would ever be having an affair…but he was. As the other woman co-worker was going through a divorce she would unload her story on my husband. She’s known us as a married couple for 20 years. That didn’t stop her from the “I’ve been so mistreated” stories which my husband believed. She knew exactly what she was doing because my husband was such a “good” guy and her’s hadn’t been. When he finally told me, he ended it completely and we’ve been in counseling for a year and a half. He has done everything from calling from our home phone when I’m at work while on his lunch hour to giving me his passwords to his work email. She has had no repercussions. So yes, I would love to sue her for lose of affection and emotional stress and trauma. It is exactly like a death in the family.
An intentional assault, if you will…
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The other woman has always called screaming at me. My husband never protected me from these calls. The affair is still going on and off. My husband cannot make up his mind. I have become mean because of this and if I could take the other woman to court for years of mental torture, I would feel comfortable doing so. Then I would deal with my husband.
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charlene Reply:
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:32 am
My sister has been married to a cop for 16 years and they have a very sweet 13 yr old son who found proof of the affair on his dads cell phone that they already suspected and downloaded it on to his computer and gave my sister a copy for her attorney. But your big mistake is you are waiting for HIM to make up his mind? Make it up for him take his retirement and spousal support, what truley keeps a man with his wife is his wallet. needless to say my oustanding citizen of a cop brother in law will now have an empty pocket and the other woman he’s been spending their money on will dump him and he will be alone. My nephew will have nothing to do with his father and that alone will haunt him for the rest of his life. what ever happened to divorceing someone you dont want? He has made a fool out of you and your letting him get away with it.
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This is sort of off topic but hopefully you can help. Here’s the scenario.
A stranger (possibly her friend, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, internet friend, etc.) emailed to this man and said, “I think you and I are being played”. Basically, the story is about triangle love and this stranger has doubt to the woman he loves. Now, the recipient doesn’t know who this stranger at all. What can he do? Can he sue for harrassment and emotional distress?
Thanks,
Max
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I also agree with the above people. My Husband has been having an affair with a girl i work with (probably for the last 2 years). She was a friend and spent many holidays and parties with us. My children are devastated and the worst thing is i work with her everyday in the same room. I work in the legal system, so is there no recourse I can take even on a Civil level. You would think there would be something that could be done. 17 years gone because of a woman that all she dates is married men. How sad for all the other women out there.
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You said, “Should we hold those good-for-nothing, deceitful, behind-the-back, home wrecking, boyfriend-stealing, girlfriend-wielding, petty, pantiless, pathetic people responsible??” You assume that the “other person” who fell in love with your spouse did it out of a burning desire to be just plain evil. My research has uncovered that a great many of those “other persons” and “cheating spouses” held themselves to a high moral code and unwittingly fell into the “chemistry trap” of what they call “love.” So, unless the “cheating spouse” is a cake-eater, you suggest suing people for falling in love. That would mean you should also be sued for daring to fall in love with your spouse. Why not sue the “cheating spouse” twice (once for falling in love with his spouse and once for falling in love with the “other person?” Now that seems equitable and non-judgmental…just sayin’…
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BJ Reply:
August 12th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
There are limits. And anyone who is married is off-limits. Don’t tempt fate. If you know the other person is married, then focus on some other guy who is actually available. People don’t just “fall in love” – first, they lust. Walk away from the temptation and it would never get to the point that you become “the other woman”. Only exception, is if “the other woman” never knew about the wife in the first place.
If the “other woman” knows he’s married, and she still pursues him, as the wife -take her to the cleaners. Trifling men and women should be held accountable – one way or another.
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How about my husband left me and our son for my best friends 23 year old daughter (hes 43) that we have known since the age of 9. My son was best friends with her brother. I treated her like a daughter. I would love to sue the pants off of her. She is also to be held accountable for her actions which are disgusting.
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I think the other person should be sued for interfering in the emotional distress that can happened to the children. They should be accountable for destroying a marriage. This should send a message that you do not covet another man’s or wife’s spouse and think you do not have consequences for your actions. When you go after another person’s spouse you know you are destroying the family children and the financial distress that comes along with a divorce and counseling for the children. the spouse that is cheated on is due some kind of restitution for emotional distress. Maybe this would send a message to other people is this worth it to hurt children or cause undo mental hardship to a family. the only think is there a lawyer strong or moral enough to tackle a case like to this to bring justice to the hurt victim. A good strong lawyer would take a case like this and set a presidence that there is consequences for your actions. if a marriage is damage it should be worked out between the husband and wife with out outside interference especially if there are children are involved.
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Are you kidding?? Why do you assume the other person even knows the one she was dating is married??? Married men (& women too, I’m sure) lie about this all the time, claiming to be single, so that they can get the “other” to go out with them. Sometimes they cover their tracks so well, that it takes a couple years for the other person to discover there is a spouse. The other person has been cruelly manipulated into this relationship by the partner’s deceit, against his/her will, and often times wanted no part in a fling with a married person. This is completely and utterly devastating to the other person as well, who finds his/herself way too involved and often in love, planning a future with the believed single spouse, before findingout there is a marriage. He/she is left out in the cold completely, with sense of self destroyed, ability to trust destroyed, feeling robbed, and with absolutely no recourse. The cheater often plans a future with the other person, including marriage and children, to perpetuate the lie and maintain the trust. These relationships often result in pregnancy, with the cheater only showing their true colors upon finding out. Moreover, the other person must grieve privately, for fear of exposure, judgment and retribution. His or hers is a forbidden grief…he or she is not even allowed to feel heartbroken because of society’s need to villify and blame the “other person” who intruded on the marriage. In reality the other person NEVER asked for this, never wanted this, generally has to break off the relationship with the cheater his/herself because the cheater wants to keep both relationships at any cost, and absolutely does not care about the pain caused to the spouse or the other person. Please think about this before going after the other person who supposedly wrecked your perfect marriage. The cheater has the responsibility, not because the other person took no vows of allegiance, but because the cheater deliberately orchestrated and manipulated the whole affair for the sake of his/her own ego. Even if the other person “made a play” for the spouse, he/she can’t say no?? Please!!! If they had a little respect for their husbands or wifes, and if they gave a damn about anyone else’s wellbeing, the affair wouldn’t have happened. Also, don’t forget that if it wasn’t the other person, it would just be somebody else. Aw those poor, naive, unsuspecting husbands and wives–it doesn’t just happen by accident. People who cheat do so because they want to, and they feel entitled.
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Lindsey Reply:
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:50 am
Good points! If the cheating husband lies to the other woman about being married, and she participates in the relationship with him thinking he’s single, that is a bit of a different story. Though, I certainly understand how this happens in short-term affairs. But, come on, after a while (you mentioned years!) don’t you wonder why he can’t be with you at certain times, why he’s not available, why you’ve never been to his house (or if you have, why so infrequently), why you haven’t met his family… that kind of thing? In the law, there is a legal principle imposing liability in certain situations based on whether a person “knew, or should have known” better. In other words, you can’t be “willfully blind” in order to try to escape liability for wrongdoing.
Though, this particular blog discussed when the “other woman” actually knows she is dating a married man (or a man in an otherwise committed relationship)…. and participates willingly in the deceit.
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I have almost the same problem. Been living witht the guy 7 yrs – together 11.
Came home one day out of the blue, with the bomb that he wasn’t happy and miserable and that something had to be done. That was 10 weeks ago.
He treated me nasty all those weeks – making me think I h ad done something to cause all of it. Within that time, I found out 3 days after telling me the bomb that he booked a vacation with the other woman. And within that time, talked about going to counseling to help US. When he went on this vaca – telling me it was a business trip, he told me while he was going out the door – to find a place to live. While he was gone, I found out she is a married co-worker. I kept it to myself till he returned. I hit him with all of it when he came home. He wanted to talk rational about it, told me he would help me in any way, paying my car and helping me with furnishings when I leave. In turn, I couldnt talk to her or her husband. OR he wasnt paying. I kept that promise because I need my car paid, I had an agreement written for us to sign because he suggested it be done, more or less hush money. NOW he won’t sign the paper. I inserted a clause stating I will not contact the persons involved – like he asked. But that isn’t good enough, he wants to also say that if ANYONE sontacts her- he isn’t paying. I stated in the paperwork that I am only accountable for my actions, no one elses. And he laughed at me.
I have been with this man for 7 years, not married, taking care of him, his house and things that come up on a day to day basis. I am surely entitled to something. I am trying to make it on my own with two college age children that I soley out through school. When I moved with him, it was to help with that situation and to give my kids what they needed. Now, I am at a loss as to what to do, if he don’t sign the paper stating what he verbally agreed to do for me.
Thanks
Susan in Pennsylvania
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Lindsey Reply:
July 24th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Hi Susan. I’m so sorry to hear you are going through all of this as I can certainlly imagine how frustrating it all must be. I suggest you contact an attorney to determine what legal options may be available to you. For instance, if the two of you purchased any items together, then you may be entiled to some of it. Also, there may be other agreements the two of you have made which may be enforceable. You won’t know whether or not you have any legal rights unless you speak to an attorney. These kinds of things are highly fact specific, so the attorney will probably have some additional questions for you. Many family law lawyers do give free initial consultations. You can find an attorney through the directory at http://www.lawinfo.com.
Good luck!
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To discover that my husband was cheating on me with a number of different women for 20 years out of the 30 years we have been married, is about the worst thing I am forced to deal with. About a year ago his latest”side dish to life” wrote me an e-mail telling me all about their affair. Since then, my husband and I have worked very hard to patch up all that went wrong between us but this woman will not go away. Throughout this past year she continued to write to me, to my husband, calling him non stop and is continuing to do so to this day. We tried to stop her to no avail, she is relentless. At this point I am looking for a legal arm or advise how to deal with this person who knows no boundaries.
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Lindsey Reply:
July 28th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear about this frustrating situation for you! I definitely suggest you speak to an attorney regarding what legal options you may have. Sometimes a restraining order or no-contact order may be obtained to protect you from harassment. Whether this kind of thing is available in your situation will depend on additional facts which you should discuss with your lawyer. There may be other options as well. Good luck with everything!
Find a lawyer at http://www.lawinfo.com.
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I believe you should be able to sue them. To bad we don’t hang people for adultry anymore.
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My ex-husband and I met in high school. We have 3 sons ages 23, 17, and 12. 1 grand-daughter, 1 expected in Jan. on his birthday. We were married for 11yrs. 5mths. We seperated due to him admitting to having what he called an almost affair with his married professor for 5 mths. In an effort to reconcile, and keep our family together we sought counseling. During this time he began to chase a neighbor (according to her) by leaving notes on her car. She knew he was married. She knew each and everytime my children and I were there, she saw us leave. Yet she accepted his advances and invitations to lunch, dinner, drinks ,etc.. She talked about how she’d moved here (to Georgia from Florida) and was in pursuit of finding that special female to make a life with, after going through 2 divorces herself, but decided to give him a try for the sake of 1 last time with a man. She boasted to me about their 3yr. relationship, and how she demanded he get a divorce to be with her. He met her demands. He bought a new home with money I provided for the down payment months before I actually knew he wanted a divorce, which was all a part of our new plans for our future after reconcilliation. He’s moved her in and boasts about her knowing me from his complex, and being with her for a while. Sept. 1, 2009 marks the day he and I were apart 3 yrs. This hurtful info. was given to me in July. He doesnt have a good relationship with his sons because theyre not too happy with dear old dad. I m am seeking counseling just to deal with my hurt, and to help my children with their pain from the situation. And the list goes on. Is there an attorney out there that could be of help to me in the metro Atlanta, Ga. area? Please contact me. zinnmcm@aol.com
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Lindsey Reply:
September 11th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Dear Hurt… I am so sorry for your pain and can understand how difficult this must all be for you and your family! Glad you’re in counseling for the emotional and psychological part of it. If you speak to a lawyer, you can certainly empower yourself by learning about your legal rights. Property acquired during marriage is typically considered to be marital property, subject either to equal or “equitable” distribution between the spouses, unless one or the other spouse can show that it should be considered their separate property. Not sure how those principles affect the situation with the house you mentioned. You’d need to discuss the details with your lawyer. You can find a divorce or family law lawyer in your area at http://www.lawinfo.com. Just search by practice area and your area code or city. You can also take a look at the info on divorce and your rights by clicking here: Divorce, Helpful Articles on Divorce and Property Division. Good luck!
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I think so, the other person takes time, money, attention and love from a spouse and often children…so if the other person knowingly has a affair with a married person, they should have to make restitution…just like if you help a criminal cover up a crime , you can be held accountable.
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